The Difference

There is a difference
between suicidal
thought and wanting


to be dead, says
the black nipple zinnia
near the drive.


As a man, I do not plan
to die clattering in a kitchen
drawer between sharp


edge and serrated.
I test the temperature
of bathwater with a toe,


settle in the hot
porcelain tub, a drop
of red spills onto my chest


from my stemmed glass.
I prune. Become tepid,
pull threads from the


shower curtain. Thunderhead
sedum says, there is a difference
between acute and chronic. 


My condition? Low grade,
long lasting as the ever-
bloom of the amaranth


seen through the window
of a morning bath.
I anger the grasses in the yard.